The story of the brother of Jared is one of my favorites in the Book of Mormon. I love how the family of the brother of Jared had enough faith to do what the Lord commanded, even though it was a really frightening thing to do, let alone comprehend.
The end of verse 7 makes me think of life. "When they were encompassed about by many waters they did cry unto the Lord, and he did bring them forth again upon the top of the waters." I think I've heard of the this analogy before, but it's always more meaningful when you realize it for yourself. Sometimes I feel encompassed about by the waters of life and I feel I'm drowning or fighting a battle I can't win. Like the family of the brother of Jared, every time I call upon Heavenly Father to save me, He brings me to the top of the waters.
The very end of verse 10 also made me think of another analogy that has probably been used before. "And they did have light continually, whether it was above the water or under the water." The brother of Jared went through a bit of trial to get the light in the barges. Heavenly Father didn't just give the light to the brother of Jared, he had to think of a way to invite the light into his life on his own. I think it's the same for us, we need to find ways to invite the light of Heavenly Father into our lives on our own, He's not going to force the answer on us. That's part of our agency in finding the path for ourselves.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Humility
I've been terribly lonely lately. With these feelings came bitterness. I'd wonder why I didn't have any friends. People would get up in fast and testimony meeting and say what a wonderful ward they were in and how grateful they were for their dear friends and I would scoff in my mind. Friends? How is it everyone can have friends but me?
Then I started making more of an effort to go to Relief Society and paying attention to when activities were and trying to go to them as well. With that small amount of effort came a huge amount of answers to my unspoken questions. I realized that I was being prideful and, instead of wondering why I wasn't making friends, I started making more of an effort to say hello to people at church. I started praying for the sisters I visit teach with meaning. I prayed to be a friend to someone who might need it as bad as I thought I did. I prayed to reach out to someone instead of thinking about how no one went out of their way to say hello to me.
The changes were almost night and day. I've made friends since then and they are amazing people. The ward we are in is pretty spectacular, I just needed to try and lose my pride before I could realize it.
I'm always baffled by how Heavenly Father knows me so well that He answers the prayer in my heart, even if my mouth can't quite voice what I it's trying to say.
Then I started making more of an effort to go to Relief Society and paying attention to when activities were and trying to go to them as well. With that small amount of effort came a huge amount of answers to my unspoken questions. I realized that I was being prideful and, instead of wondering why I wasn't making friends, I started making more of an effort to say hello to people at church. I started praying for the sisters I visit teach with meaning. I prayed to be a friend to someone who might need it as bad as I thought I did. I prayed to reach out to someone instead of thinking about how no one went out of their way to say hello to me.
The changes were almost night and day. I've made friends since then and they are amazing people. The ward we are in is pretty spectacular, I just needed to try and lose my pride before I could realize it.
I'm always baffled by how Heavenly Father knows me so well that He answers the prayer in my heart, even if my mouth can't quite voice what I it's trying to say.
Rough Times
Every now and then, life gets really hard. Nothing in particular is different, but things get rocky. This happened to me. It's amazing how the scriptures seem to have been written for you and your life. How is it that when I needed to read a certain scripture, it just happened to be in my reading that day? I know my mind isn't ready to comprehend the answer to such a question, but it's amazing how it always happens as long as I am doing my part and reading the scriptures like I should.
The scripture I'm talking about is found in 3 Nephi 18. Verse 20 says:
"And whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is right, believing that ye shall receive, behold it shall be given unto you."
The promise in this verse given by Christ's own voice is amazing. I've read it before, but never has it impacted me the way it did. It's comforting to know that I can ask Heavenly Father for help, or for anything.
The scripture I'm talking about is found in 3 Nephi 18. Verse 20 says:
"And whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is right, believing that ye shall receive, behold it shall be given unto you."
The promise in this verse given by Christ's own voice is amazing. I've read it before, but never has it impacted me the way it did. It's comforting to know that I can ask Heavenly Father for help, or for anything.
Monday, September 7, 2009
A Thinker
It occurs to me that I was put in this place at this time because I would know what to do. As long as I keep my counsel with Heavenly Father, I shouldn't be afraid to venture into areas of life that I'm not so familiar with. (i.e. food storage, mothering, keeping a home, etc.). There is no reason to be afraid if I keep in touch with Heavenly Father.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
3 Nephi 14
1) "Judge not, that ye be not judged."
2) "For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged . . ."
My mind is very quick to pass judgment on people I consider to be bad. For example, people that I hear on the news that abuse their children, their little babies, I often hope that they will go straight to hell. I judge them because of what I see, and maybe they deserve such a reward in the next life, but it is not up to me to judge them. Is that how I would want to be judged? I'm sure there are people out there better than I am who would be appalled at some of the things I do. It's a good thing I cannot pass judgment, that would mean someone else could pass it on me.
7) "Ask and it shall be given unto you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you."
I've heard this so many times in my life that it's a testament to the power of always reading the scriptures with an open heart that it still stands out. I love this scripture, it has been put to song and the song often gets stuck in my head. It is humbling to know that such words came from Christ's own mouth. He wants us to go to Him for help, he wants us to ask Him for help. Sometimes it's good to remember that, especially when I never feel worthy.
13) ". . . Wide is the gate, and broad is the way, which leadeth to destruction, and many there be who go in thereat;"
14) "Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it."
It seems to me that this is saying that there a lot of people not doing what they're supposed to. It would be very easy to look around and decide that since everyone else isn't doing to well than why should I try? Kind of like how teachers grade on the curve, you grade your life on the curve of others. That's why it's important to surround yourself with others who are on the straight and narrow path, others who are trying as hard or harder than you try.
2) "For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged . . ."
My mind is very quick to pass judgment on people I consider to be bad. For example, people that I hear on the news that abuse their children, their little babies, I often hope that they will go straight to hell. I judge them because of what I see, and maybe they deserve such a reward in the next life, but it is not up to me to judge them. Is that how I would want to be judged? I'm sure there are people out there better than I am who would be appalled at some of the things I do. It's a good thing I cannot pass judgment, that would mean someone else could pass it on me.
7) "Ask and it shall be given unto you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you."
I've heard this so many times in my life that it's a testament to the power of always reading the scriptures with an open heart that it still stands out. I love this scripture, it has been put to song and the song often gets stuck in my head. It is humbling to know that such words came from Christ's own mouth. He wants us to go to Him for help, he wants us to ask Him for help. Sometimes it's good to remember that, especially when I never feel worthy.
13) ". . . Wide is the gate, and broad is the way, which leadeth to destruction, and many there be who go in thereat;"
14) "Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it."
It seems to me that this is saying that there a lot of people not doing what they're supposed to. It would be very easy to look around and decide that since everyone else isn't doing to well than why should I try? Kind of like how teachers grade on the curve, you grade your life on the curve of others. That's why it's important to surround yourself with others who are on the straight and narrow path, others who are trying as hard or harder than you try.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Learning to Love
Pastor took a week off to be with me and the baby. We did a lot of fun things together the entire week. When he went back to work, I closed the door after him and cried like a baby. I keep falling in love with my husband all over again. Sometimes I think back to before we were married and I'm amazed at how much I can love a person, much more than I thought possible back then.
I'm grateful to Heavenly Father for loving me and showing me how to love. Now I'm happy to clean the house for Pastor (on most days). I'm happy to do the laundry and make him dinner and other such things. It's really humbling to recognize that in learning to love, I've learned how the pure love of Christ really works.
I'm grateful to Heavenly Father for loving me and showing me how to love. Now I'm happy to clean the house for Pastor (on most days). I'm happy to do the laundry and make him dinner and other such things. It's really humbling to recognize that in learning to love, I've learned how the pure love of Christ really works.
Pain of Divorce
My parents were divorced when I was seven. I might have mentioned this fact before, it's a major part of my life that still effects me daily in one way or another. I never wish for things to be undone or put back to the way they were when I was six, but there are things that could have been handled better. We are all human and we all make mistakes so I try not to judge.
I was praying tonight and realized that I've never talked to Heavenly Father about the pain I feel about the separation. I've never shared that with Him in any prayer that I can remember. The same moment I realized that, it hit me that the Savior has been there, shouldering my pain with me even when I didn't ask Him to. He's been there for me always, no matter what. Every day there is something else that makes me become aware of this fact all over again. The hurt has always been there ever since I remember the divorce happening and so has He. Now He is here for me when I feel so alone. His love can make any hurt whole, even when the person holding the hurt doesn't know He's there doing exactly that.
I was praying tonight and realized that I've never talked to Heavenly Father about the pain I feel about the separation. I've never shared that with Him in any prayer that I can remember. The same moment I realized that, it hit me that the Savior has been there, shouldering my pain with me even when I didn't ask Him to. He's been there for me always, no matter what. Every day there is something else that makes me become aware of this fact all over again. The hurt has always been there ever since I remember the divorce happening and so has He. Now He is here for me when I feel so alone. His love can make any hurt whole, even when the person holding the hurt doesn't know He's there doing exactly that.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Throw Down Your Weapons of War
In the scriptures there are many references to the Nephites having mercy on the Lamanites who throw down their weapons of war. I've read and re-read this message, never thinking of any way to apply it to myself. Today, when I was reading about Teancum and Moroni and the armies of Lehi taking back the city of Mulek, it occurred to me that I too need to throw down my weapons. Not my weapons of physical war, I don't even own any weapons, but the weapons of war that I cause in our household. I am often critical and quick to pass judgement on my husband. My nagging and sharp tongue can't be bringing us closer together. I know that if I have something to say, I need to cast aside my turmoil causing words and find a more gentle way to handle the situation.
It is better to speak softly, like that story of the wind and the sun, which I found on the Internet. It so befitting to what I'm trying to say.
The Sun and the Wind
An Aesop's Fable
As Retold by Ms.Holly
Once long ago the Sun and the Wind made a bet. It happened on one summers day long long ago...and this is how it came about....
The Wind said boastfully "I am far stronger than you are."
The Sun just looked at the wind and said nothing.
So the Wind went on to say, "I am so much stronger than you are that look down at that traveler on the road. I bet I can make him take off his cloak before you can."
The Sun just kept looking and said nothing still.
So the Wind then said, "So I will go first as I know you will never be able to do that." So the Wind proceeded to blow and blow and blow. But all the traveler did was clutch his cloak tighter to himself. Finally the Wind was so tired he gave up, saying, "Well if I could not do it then surely you cannot...So there is not really any sense in you trying to remove his cloak."
The entire time this had been going on the Sun had decided to hide behind a cloud. So the sun then came out and began to beam. Very slowly it began to get warmer so much so that the traveler when he came to a stream took off his cloak and all his clothes to go swimming.
Moral: Gentle persuasion is often more effective than brute force.
It is better to speak softly, like that story of the wind and the sun, which I found on the Internet. It so befitting to what I'm trying to say.
The Sun and the Wind
An Aesop's Fable
As Retold by Ms.Holly
Once long ago the Sun and the Wind made a bet. It happened on one summers day long long ago...and this is how it came about....
The Wind said boastfully "I am far stronger than you are."
The Sun just looked at the wind and said nothing.
So the Wind went on to say, "I am so much stronger than you are that look down at that traveler on the road. I bet I can make him take off his cloak before you can."
The Sun just kept looking and said nothing still.
So the Wind then said, "So I will go first as I know you will never be able to do that." So the Wind proceeded to blow and blow and blow. But all the traveler did was clutch his cloak tighter to himself. Finally the Wind was so tired he gave up, saying, "Well if I could not do it then surely you cannot...So there is not really any sense in you trying to remove his cloak."
The entire time this had been going on the Sun had decided to hide behind a cloud. So the sun then came out and began to beam. Very slowly it began to get warmer so much so that the traveler when he came to a stream took off his cloak and all his clothes to go swimming.
Moral: Gentle persuasion is often more effective than brute force.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Nothing in Comparison
I've lived my life watching artificial beauty in the media. I've also lived my life comparing myself to these beauties. I feel I must be perfect. Every day is a struggle to look myself in the mirror and not feel disgusted. Every moment is a momoent spent tryint not to feel like I'm good enough to look others in the eye without them being disgusted with me. I live with the horrible thought that my husband will one day wake up and realize what he really married.
I know all of this wrong, but it was my life.
I've often wondered how I can overcome this if it's such a part of me. How can something that is in my mind every second of every day be overcome? Small steps were taken. I told myself things like I couldn't look like I wanted so I had to deal with what I have or that there are the select few out there who find my certain body type attractive and that's all that matters. I've spent so many years trying to be like the women I've saw on TV or in magazines that I was making up excuses for the way I thought.
A little while ago, after years of wondering why and feeling sorry for myself, a starteling realization hit me. I'd been treating the artificial beauties I knew like idols. It was my goal to be like them and I thought of little else. Then one day the questions didn't matter any more. The feeling of not being good enough didn't matter as much. I finally realized that there was only one person I should be trying to be like and that is Christ. In my minds eye, I could imagine Him saddened by my choice to be like such superficial beings, wasting time on trivial things. He has shown the one and only way to live, to get back home to Heavenly Father and I'm twiddeling away my time trying to be like something that wasn't even real.
It is important for us to remember who we are and where we came from. I hope that no one loses themselves like I did because of artificial good looks and sex appeal. I know that there is but one way to be, and that is to be like Christ and strive to follow His perfect example day by day. I wasted so much time worrying over something that wasn't important. I can't help but wonder what I would be like today if all that time was spent trying to be like my Savior.
I know all of this wrong, but it was my life.
I've often wondered how I can overcome this if it's such a part of me. How can something that is in my mind every second of every day be overcome? Small steps were taken. I told myself things like I couldn't look like I wanted so I had to deal with what I have or that there are the select few out there who find my certain body type attractive and that's all that matters. I've spent so many years trying to be like the women I've saw on TV or in magazines that I was making up excuses for the way I thought.
A little while ago, after years of wondering why and feeling sorry for myself, a starteling realization hit me. I'd been treating the artificial beauties I knew like idols. It was my goal to be like them and I thought of little else. Then one day the questions didn't matter any more. The feeling of not being good enough didn't matter as much. I finally realized that there was only one person I should be trying to be like and that is Christ. In my minds eye, I could imagine Him saddened by my choice to be like such superficial beings, wasting time on trivial things. He has shown the one and only way to live, to get back home to Heavenly Father and I'm twiddeling away my time trying to be like something that wasn't even real.
It is important for us to remember who we are and where we came from. I hope that no one loses themselves like I did because of artificial good looks and sex appeal. I know that there is but one way to be, and that is to be like Christ and strive to follow His perfect example day by day. I wasted so much time worrying over something that wasn't important. I can't help but wonder what I would be like today if all that time was spent trying to be like my Savior.
Close my Eyes and Bow my Head
It may be very immature of me to just barely realize this, but I think I know why it's very important to close your eyes when your praying. There are the obvious reasons like reverence and focusing the words, but I think there could be another reason entirely. When a person prays, they are having a direct conversation with Heavenly Father. Someone can talk to God as if it were face to face, even though it's not. If you try hard enough, you can feel His presence there while you're praying. In that moment, you are talking to Supreme Being. We as mortals cannot look upon God with our mortal eyes. So when I utter prayer to my Heavenly Father, I close my eyes and feel Him all around me and I know to keep them closed if I want to feel His presence. I don't know if this makes sense to anyone else. It makes so much more sense in my mind, but hopefully you know what I mean.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Giving All
How do you give all to the Lord? You replace your bad habits with His love and His Spirit. How do you do that? Primary answers my friends. Primary answers. :o)
2 Nephi, Chapter 26
Verse five says that the wicked who are mean and kill the prophets and the righteous people will be killed. The first person I thought of was Joseph Smith and I thought "Good, they deserve it." Much to my surprise, in verse seven, Nephi's soul is anguished for these people. He is sad that such things must come to pass. I think I need to work on my pride and have more love like Nephi.
Verse eight impacted me tremendously. "But behold, the righteous that hearken unto the words of the prophets, and destroy them not, but look forward unto Christ with steadfastness for the signs which are given, notwithstanding all persecution--behold, they are they which shall not perish."
The first thing that ran through my mind was when the verse talks about looking for the signs. How can you look for something that you don't know? I thought of my son and how ill prepared he would be if I didn't teach him right. It is so important to teach the children about right and wrong. If you don't, it can cause so much more harm than just physical damage, which is bad enough.
Verse ten: " . . . And they sell themselves for naught . . ." I thought of how everyone sells themselves by watching bad things on TV, by listening to horrible things on the radio, by reading and viewing such awful things in any shape or form. How little we sell ourselves for.
Verses 25, 26, 27 and 28 really apply to me I think. I have a complex where I think I'm not good enough for anything. I love how these verses spoke to me, saying that the Lord has never said that I'm not good enough, nor has He ever turned me away. That made me feel specail and loved while boosting my testimony of the tender mercies of Heavenly Father.
Verse eight impacted me tremendously. "But behold, the righteous that hearken unto the words of the prophets, and destroy them not, but look forward unto Christ with steadfastness for the signs which are given, notwithstanding all persecution--behold, they are they which shall not perish."
The first thing that ran through my mind was when the verse talks about looking for the signs. How can you look for something that you don't know? I thought of my son and how ill prepared he would be if I didn't teach him right. It is so important to teach the children about right and wrong. If you don't, it can cause so much more harm than just physical damage, which is bad enough.
Verse ten: " . . . And they sell themselves for naught . . ." I thought of how everyone sells themselves by watching bad things on TV, by listening to horrible things on the radio, by reading and viewing such awful things in any shape or form. How little we sell ourselves for.
Verses 25, 26, 27 and 28 really apply to me I think. I have a complex where I think I'm not good enough for anything. I love how these verses spoke to me, saying that the Lord has never said that I'm not good enough, nor has He ever turned me away. That made me feel specail and loved while boosting my testimony of the tender mercies of Heavenly Father.
Friday, January 2, 2009
One For Another
How do you change your habits? I've been able to switch focus. Replace one desire for another. Eating to compinsate for the loss of a habit. When I stop eating, the old habit flares up. How do you give everything to Heavenly Father when you obsesse over it?
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Fixer Upper
I realized that I have a belief that even Heavenly Father can't fix me. I never knew that belief was there until a few minutes ago. I know differently, it's just a fear that I have, that I'm so damaged that no one will be able to mend me. Now that I've realized it, I know that Heavenly Father can fix anything. I've known this all along, I just didn't realize that annoying doubt was there. He's created me with His ultimate power and there is not limit to what He can do. I needed to clear that in my mind and be able to remember later. He loves me and will help me to be happy.
Monday, December 1, 2008
2 Nephi Chapter 6
Verse three: "For I am desirous for the welfare of your souls."
Jacob tells his people that he is worried for their souls. This made me think because, too often, I judge people. I think in my mind that someone is one way and that they should be doing this that and the other to better their lives. I think of all the logical reason they should be behaving better and I don't worry about the welfare of their souls. I should be worried about their souls above all else. If I try to rescue a person's soul out of love, it will make me remember that they are my Spirit sibling and they deserve to be saved just as much as I do, if not more.
Verse seven: " . . . for they shall not be ashamed that wait for me."
Verse thirteen: ". . . For the people of the Lord are they who wait for him . . ."
As I read these words, I thought to myself, "I wait." And I do. I wait for the Lord to come in His glory. He may come during my time and He may not, but I still know that He is coming and I wait. That gave me comfort to know that I will be counted as a person of the Lord, at least in that aspect. I have never doubted that He will come and I don't think I've ever realized that before I read this scripture the way I did. I know He will come and I've always known it, ever since I can remember. It's a real testimony strengthener to realize something like that.
Verse seventeen: "Even the captives of the mighty shall be taken away, and the prey of the terrible shall be delivered . . ."
This made me think of fairy tales and how wonderful they are in making a person to feel safe when they are thinking of the hero saving the day. I've often wondered if such heroes are supposed to represent Christ. The parallel seems to supports such an idea.
Verse eighteen: " . . . and all flesh shall know that I the Lord am they Savior and they Redeemer, the Mighty One of Jacob."
I felt smug when I thought of all the people who don't believe now finding out after the Savior returns. Sometimes I see in my mind's eye people suffering because they didn't believe in Christ and they did terrible things, like the people who killed Joseph Smith. I can see them writhing around at the realization that there is a God. Then I thought that I will be just like them. I may think that I know who the Lord is, but when it comes down to it, the day that He comes, I will be just like the others. I will know that the Lord is mightier and greater than I could ever imagine. Doesn't that make me just as lowly as anyone else? So much for smug, huh?
Jacob tells his people that he is worried for their souls. This made me think because, too often, I judge people. I think in my mind that someone is one way and that they should be doing this that and the other to better their lives. I think of all the logical reason they should be behaving better and I don't worry about the welfare of their souls. I should be worried about their souls above all else. If I try to rescue a person's soul out of love, it will make me remember that they are my Spirit sibling and they deserve to be saved just as much as I do, if not more.
Verse seven: " . . . for they shall not be ashamed that wait for me."
Verse thirteen: ". . . For the people of the Lord are they who wait for him . . ."
As I read these words, I thought to myself, "I wait." And I do. I wait for the Lord to come in His glory. He may come during my time and He may not, but I still know that He is coming and I wait. That gave me comfort to know that I will be counted as a person of the Lord, at least in that aspect. I have never doubted that He will come and I don't think I've ever realized that before I read this scripture the way I did. I know He will come and I've always known it, ever since I can remember. It's a real testimony strengthener to realize something like that.
Verse seventeen: "Even the captives of the mighty shall be taken away, and the prey of the terrible shall be delivered . . ."
This made me think of fairy tales and how wonderful they are in making a person to feel safe when they are thinking of the hero saving the day. I've often wondered if such heroes are supposed to represent Christ. The parallel seems to supports such an idea.
Verse eighteen: " . . . and all flesh shall know that I the Lord am they Savior and they Redeemer, the Mighty One of Jacob."
I felt smug when I thought of all the people who don't believe now finding out after the Savior returns. Sometimes I see in my mind's eye people suffering because they didn't believe in Christ and they did terrible things, like the people who killed Joseph Smith. I can see them writhing around at the realization that there is a God. Then I thought that I will be just like them. I may think that I know who the Lord is, but when it comes down to it, the day that He comes, I will be just like the others. I will know that the Lord is mightier and greater than I could ever imagine. Doesn't that make me just as lowly as anyone else? So much for smug, huh?
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